Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Counting Down the Days

I am finding that now that I have a job again, I am constantly counting down the days until my next day off, or even better, when this job will end. It's not that I don't like my job. It's actually a pretty good job but I find that I am much more tired daily and that I have less time to paint, which is not a good thing when you have shows to prepare for. Currently I have open studios in early April, a four-person show at 111 Minna Gallery at the beginning of May, and a "Women on Figures" show (with 4 other women) at Madison Gallery in June. All of these shows need paintings and I would like to provide them with new pieces. The thought of painting all of these pieces is overwhelming when I think about how I need to do that all while making sure I have good lesson plans, preparing tests, and making sure my grading is up to date. In other words, making sure I am doing well at my day job (and teaching pre-calculus is no easy job!). Either one of these jobs is exhausting on it's own, let alone together. Then add in spending time with my husband, alone time, and time to do housework and other various daily life chores...it's a busy way to live.

Today I should be going straight to my studio to paint after teaching most of the day,  but like most days, I am exhausted. A nap sounds like the most luxuorious thing in the world right now and I want it with all my being. In fact, I am having a hard time keeping my eyes open while typing this, as my students are in the background taking a test on complex numbers. It's hard to do two full-time jobs (and yes, art is a full-time job for me) and do them well. I'd like to think that I am doing both well too, and I strive for it regularly. Sleep just seems like something you have to give up in order to be able to do it all.

So what do I do then? I sit and count the days until the weekend (4 days...). I count the days until vacation (which is in 3 days...Spring break!!). I count the days until this job ends (43 work days until May 27th). I sit and I think about what it will be like again when I only have one full-time job to worry about, only one job's deadlines to worry about. It's not that far away, but some days, like today, it seems like an eternity.

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